Almost -23 Weeks

I have a LOT going through my mind tonight, so please bear with me.

Today was the first day of teacher workdays and for the first time since I was 5, I'm not getting ready for school to begin. It has been so weird to think about many of my friends and former colleagues going back to work and me not being there. Jimmy and I decided a long time ago, before we were even ready to have children, that one of us would stay home with our children, until they were at least school age. Because he makes more money than I do, that person is me. At the end of last school year, after much prayer and thought, I decided to not begin this school year. Barely 1 month after that, we found out we were pregnant. It wouldn't be fair for my students to have to deal with a teacher who may be constantly in and out, the parents I have to do IEP meetings with, the team who would have to help me rearrange, my baby who needs me to provide a safe, low-stress environment, or me, who would be the mad ringleader in that circus. From my history, we know stress can aggravate my ITP.

Hand in hand with that, after the other week in the hospital, I know we made the right decision. I truly cannot imagine dealing with the stress of work and the stress of ITP and pregnancy combined. Today I went in for bloodwork and my shot and my platelets were very low again. I am taking a few days of decadron, and getting counts again on Friday. Again, I'm more worried about the baby than myself. I'm a little nervous because I haven't felt her move much over the past day or so, but I know women further along than I am haven't even felt movement yet. The other night, Baby J was moving around quite a bit when I was singing Elton John, so I guess I'll try that again tonight!