Last Tuesday, Jimmy and I had an appointment with Dr. Andra James, an internationally recognized obstetrician/gynecologist who specializes in women with blood disorders. You can read more about her here. If you don't want to read her bio, just know she has a ton of experience and has written lots of papers. She was extremely compassionate and kind to us during our visit. The fellow who was with her, Dr. Ransom, was also very kind and sweet.
That said, the appointment did not go as we wanted it to.
I had hopes that there would be something we could do to manage my ITP during a pregnancy. Surely with all we know about medicine, there is some kind of protocol for people like me who want to have children.
The bottom line is there is not.
Dr. James did not break the news to us this bluntly. She discussed how out of the thousands of women who have ITP, there are only a small handful of people who have platelet counts like me. My counts hang out in the single digit thousands. Normal women experience approximately a 15% drop in platelet counts. I don't have anywhere to go. Dr. James explained that a period is a minor bleeding incident and can be handled easily. Even labor can be handled, by having a stockpile of platelets and steroids. The real risk lies in carrying a baby. Between the placenta and uterine wall, there is a dinner-plate sized space that is filled with blood. Normally, if there are issues, platelets quickly move in to plug up any holes and stop bleeding. In my situation, this may not happen effectively, causing me to lose a baby and possibly endangering my life. There would be approximately a 5% mortality rate Some women are able to manage pregnancy by using steroids and IVIG intermittently, but these are not long term options, due to their side effects. She even went so far as to say if I were to become pregnant, due to some birth control snafu, their suggestion would be termination.
I didn't realize the mortality rate. That pretty much seals the deal for Jimmy and me. This was hard. Tuesday was awful. I cried so much, I couldn't understand how I had anymore tears left.
Where does this leave us? We have two options:
1)Surrogate mother, using donor eggs. Because of the process used to collect eggs, Dr. James feels it would be too risky to use my own eggs.
2) Adoption
#1 is really not something either of us is interested in. It's expensive, like $50,000. If we could use my eggs, it may be a more agreeable option. I'm selfish yet honest enough to say that I don't want another woman having a baby with my husband.
I've always felt strongly about adoption. I see so many children mistreated through my job that I know the need is there. We're considering fostering and seeing if it will lead to adoption.
As my Nanny was so quick to remind me, Jimmy and I have each other and a great relationship, which is not something a lot of people can say. I know as long as we have each other, we can make it through anything. And, as Lauren pointed out (nobody else had mentioned this, and I love her all the more for it), who knows what kind of advances the next 5 years could bring?
I don't know that I'll be updating this blog anymore...but I wanted to put this last section of our story out here and let people know. It was a great month that Jimmy and I had the hope of getting pregnant and having our own natural child, and I'm not upset about it. I felt that I was doing what God wanted us to do, and how can I be upset about that? We'll just have to see what windows He opens.
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